December is not normally my favorite hiking month if I am being honest. It is pretty much always cold and wet and you have to fight getting to decent trail heads on snowed out, unplowed back roads. I battle hypothermia like a crazy person tempting fate with how low I can take my temperature without dying. December hiking really separates the men from the boys and since I am a woman, I don't really know where that puts me. There are days where I can't wait for the challenge of it, but then there are days where I just want to curl up under a blanket in front of my fireplace with a good book. That is what Miss Nova decided to do on this hiking day. We were having this terrible storm where we live in the Columbia River Gorge. The winds had been crazy for days. So with Nova curled up by the fire, Josie and I set out to see what kind of trouble we could get ourselves into.
Of course, since I was embracing insanity, I told Josie the Wolf that we were going to go climb a high peak known for crazy winds in the best of times. I knew during the worst of times, we would be tempting fate in another way. I have already been picked up and dropped like a sack of potatoes by the wind on another peak, so I knew what that felt like. That time I had to crawl on my hands and knees through snow to get off the ridge without dying. I couldn't wait to see what today would be like on this peak where a Lookout Tower once lived.
The problem was getting to the trailhead of course. I have never attempted this road in December and was worried the whole way there that I wouldn't be able to get even close to the PCT that snakes through this section about 25 miles north of the Columbia River. It is a long gravel road that gets more and more narrow as you go. Toward the end, you are on a single track washed out "road" with a huge cliff right along your side. The higher I drove, the more snow and ice encased the road. I was about to abandon my truck all together and just start hiking, when I crested the worst of the climb in my truck. I saw the 4 way intersection of forest service roads that I knew was only about a half mile from the PCT. There was no way I was driving any further and I squeezed my truck between roads and called it "parked". I figured no one else would be stupid enough to be up here anyway so my terrible parking would be fine. I backed it into a snow and ice bank so wasn't sure if I would even be getting it out anyway. (I was right that there never was another soul on the trail on this day, and I luckily did get my truck back out at the end).
As I attempted to open the driver side door to get out however, I was in a new battle with the wind. It did not want me to open the door at all and we hadn't even started to climb the peak yet! The wind certainly made gearing up more challenging then usual! But once we got going, our bodies started to adjust to the bitter cold winds and crunch of ice beneath our feet. Josie looked at me like I was a bit insane as her fur blew all around her and she could hardly hold her ears up. I laughed at her as we climbed the road up to the official trail where I could choose north or south bound hiking. This was my chance to take the easy route and head north away from the peak. But I was drawn like a moth to a flame and southbound toward the highest peak in the area we went!
I was entranced by the icy forest I found myself in. The trees were protecting us from the worst of the winds here, and they were covered in ice that gently clinked together making wonderful music for our ears. Little ice balls would fall on our heads as we moved. The snow and ice beneath us was completely solid and very crunchy under my boots and ice spikes. I had to put my spikes on just getting out of the truck in order to stand.
I found a PCT trail marker before long that brought a smile to my face. So many of the trail markers attached to trees are plain white and thru-hikers like to use sharpies to write messages to one another. I find them very entertaining. Guess this hiker wasn't impressed with the first 25 miles of Washington.
We switch backed and climbed through the frozen forest as the snow got deeper beneath my boots. Unfortunately this meant it was going to get a lot harder to hike. Instead of walking on top of the ice and frozen snow, we started to post hole in deeply with each and every step. I was only sinking to my knees with each step, but that sort of hiking while going uphill for miles, starts to feel a little like a stair stepper from hell. I was sweating buckets and soaking my base layers from the exertion. I tried to slow us down as you really can get in trouble in temperatures like this if you get your clothing wet, but sadly the Wolf and I have only one pace.....too fast. The snow started to drift between the trees and it was gorgeous. Mine were the only boot prints up here. I felt like the last human on earth.
I had not even bothered to bring a map or compass or anything on this hike. I have done this one twice before (although it had been years), but I knew my memory would serve me well enough. To be fair, I had never done it as a snow hike though. When you douse a forest in snow, suddenly every gap in the trees can look like trail. There were a couple times I did have to stop and just re-assess my situation to make sure I wasn't veering off from where I needed to be to reach my connector trail off the PCT. In those moments I go off instinct alone.
One of the things I enjoy the most about snow hiking is the story that is told beneath my boots. There are so many wildlife tracks criss-crossing everywhere in the snow that you don't see in summer hiking. I finally can understand why the Wolf gets so distracted smelling everything when I can see the literal highways of wildlife for myself. We were finding lots of bunny, big cat and deer tracks today.
The higher we climbed, the windier conditions became. I pulled more layers up over my face to protect my exposed skin. This winter I have taken my gear up a notch. Some would say this is princess hiking and I am going soft. But I have to admit, the new gear has increased my enjoyment level of winter hiking immensely! What is it you ask?? Battery powered heated clothing items!!! How have I lived my whole life and not tried these things I still ask myself! On this hike, I had a battery powered balaclava around my neck (heats both the front and back of my neck), a heated scarf to wrap around my face (overkill I know), a heated vest under my jacket, and six heated pocket warmers.....one for each cargo leg pocket, one for each arm pocket, and one to slip into each glove. I did not have my heated socks (I sadly find them rather impractical and uncomfortable) or my heated hat on this hike. But at times I literally will have over ten batteries strapped on my body. Now these battery packs all come with a warning to not get them wet. Funny. All I do is get things wet in winter hiking!! If I am not sweating from within, I am being pummeled by rain or snow from without. But I am taking my chances on dying by electrocution in order to not die of hypothermia for this winter. Call me crazy, but I would rather be warm than cold, even if I have to be on fire to do it!!
Before long we came to the trail junction I was expecting. We were going to veer off the Pacific Crest Trail to head to the peak that was our goal for the day. I was thrilled to find the sign (confirming I was indeed where I thought I was). Now we just needed to make our final push up as the snow became deeper still!
Josie was enjoying herself in the snow as usual. As an Arctic Wolf, I have never seen her seem to even feel the cold. Although that was about to change before this hike was through!
I enjoyed getting brief glimpses around us when the snow wasn't blowing in our faces. The evergreen forests blanketed the ravines surrounding us and crawled up and down the slopes as we climbed higher. They were so gorgeous all flocked in white from the ice coating each and every needle. The hills that rose around us were rocky and beautiful and everything was covered in quilts of snow! I was surely getting in the Christmas spirit on this hike I thought!
When people see my Facebook posts about doing hikes like this alone, I always get responses about how they think I am crazy, foolish or especially brave. They might not be wrong on the first two, but I am the first to say that I don't feel very brave. Bravery is not an absence of fear. It is feeling the fear head on and then pushing through regardless. I suppose that is what I do....because I can guarantee you, I feel fear!!! It tries to over take me sometimes when I am night hiking alone and refuse to turn on a light and my imagination runs away with me. It tries to over take me when I ford a river in winter and go under the frigid waters. It tries to over take me when a strange man tries to grab me on the trail (yes, that has happened 3 times now). It definitely tries to over take me every time something bad happens to me on the trail and I feel great fear in doing it again.
Right now if I am being honest, my biggest fear has become driving. Yup....stupid I know. But ever since my recent accident where I lost control on a sharp corner coming off a mountain and spun around three times before slamming into a guard rail at over 50mph only to be sure it would not hold and I was about to plummet to my death off a cliff, I have been having problems behind the wheel. My beloved trail truck saved me with Jesus at the wheel of course. The old Xterra then spent 3 weeks at an Auto Body Spa before spending a week at a Mechanic's Spa. I just got him back and literally hugged him. But it doesn't matter if I drive him or my town truck, I am virtually paralyzed on the road, especially when it comes to a left hand turn. I have constant flashbacks and nightmares. I hyperventilate when I drive in remotely stormy weather and need to turn left. Do you know how many left hand corners I have to drive just to get to town??? Its obscene really. I no longer can drive as fast as I use to. I am virtually a danger to myself and others. I am sure they can't figure out why I drive normal on the straight stretches, but then have to slow way down for all left hand corners. I have become a lunatic. Twice now I have had to pull over to just breathe. I never use to believe in people who said they had panic attacks. I thought that a lame excuse. But I might now understand a bit of what this is like. However, I refuse to let this accident get the better of me. Even though every time I drive I am absolutely convinced I am losing control and starting to slide, I keep doing it. Even though every time I get behind the wheel, my heart jumps to my throat and my stomach to my feet when I have to turn left, I keep doing it. I will not allow this fear to control me any more than I have allowed bad guys trying to abduct me off the trail to keep me from hiking. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Thank God for the drill sergeant who lives in my head who keeps yelling at me to find my big girl panties and suck it up! If I don't drive, I can't hike. So I am learning how to be brave behind the wheel once more. If only carrying a big gun while driving could fix this issue and help me fight to be brave!
Today I didn't have room for fear. I had an objective to achieve. I was holding my breath on the final climb, fearful I might not make it as the trail became much harder to find and the conditions significantly more severe. Even Josie was getting tired by the time we made it up to the elevation where the alpine trees lived. Post holing was killing us.
But the ridge was opening up and more light was pouring forth onto our faces. It drew me up higher and higher, unable to stop now even if I wanted to. We were so close to our goal that I could taste it! Or maybe that was because my tongue was frozen along with my eyeballs. I had long since stopped being able to drink any water and I could feel the dehydration affecting me after how much I had sweat into my base layer! You see, my entire bladder bag and water line from inside my pack, up against my back, had frozen rock solid. All I could do was eat snow, which was not helping my body temperature at all. We pushed forward and just as we crested the ridge-line, we were hit with a wall of wind like nothing I could even believe. It stole the oxygen right out of my mouth and I had to close my eyes from the onslaught of ice pellets trying to lacerate them. The word pain does not do what we were feeling in that moment any justice. Both Josie and I bent over with our faces to the ground and shuffled forward toward the final peak climb. The wind was doing its best to force us backwards. It pushed us in all directions as it swirled around hurling snow and ice at our bodies. I prepared to throw myself to the ground the moment I felt it lifting me, but kept moving hunched down into a walking ball for as long as I could. Josie got behind me and pressed her body to mine. I could tell she did not think this was a good idea!!!
We started to do the rock climb up the final push and had to use hands and feet to pull and push ourselves up against the wind. I was barely able to breathe and felt that this must be what it is like on Mt. Everest. If only I had an oxygen tank with me I thought with a smile! As we climbed and pulled our way up the winds became more intent on keeping us from our target. They were literally screaming. So I did what I could only do. I started to scream back as loud and long as I could. As I drug myself and the Wolf up one level after another, I started to find the most amazing ice formations on the boulders. It was unreal and I loved every second of it. As we made it up the peak, blue sky popped out above the clouds just at the summit. Crazy, amazing, unbelievable was this moment.
Turns out that Josie did not think this was amazing at all. She was hating every second of it. She was literally trying to climb inside my body. She jumped on top of me and started clawing at me in a total moment of panic. She clearly was convinced we were about to die and was doing everything she could to get me to turn around and leave this peak of death. Granted, I could hardly open my mouth without the air being ripped from my lungs, but I curled up between some boulders with Josie to hold her. I whispered in her ear that we were safe and everything was going to be okay. We were literally hiding in the cleft of the rocks for shelter. As Josie curled up into a ball of ice covered fur, I completely lost it and started to just scream and shout and scream some more. It was such an intense adrenaline rush that screaming was all I could do. I turned my back to the winds and sat in a fetal position between the boulders with my arms wrapped around my knees and laughed diabolically. It was so much fun!!! In this moment, it truly felt like the end of the world had come knocking on my door.
When the camera was almost ripped from my frozen hands and Josie was more ice than Wolf, I knew we should probably head down. I had lost feeling in most of my body as the wind just seemed to rip through all five layers of clothing I had on. I knew it would be hard to down climb when frozen and my feet no longer felt like they could work at all. But I was on an adrenaline high like you wouldn't believe and practically floated down the rocky peak! I knew then that I will always prioritize experiencing something amazing over my own personal comfort (or common sense). It was so completely worth it.
On the way down, I could tell even through the thick layer of clouds that the sun was getting ready to set. Josie was still clinging to me, but happier now that we were moving off the peak where the worst of the winds resided. Something caught my eye however and I told her that we needed to veer over to our right for a moment. That was away from the trail and the warm truck she knew was waiting. I could practically hear the Wolf groan at me as I pulled her after me. "That tree is saying something to me Josie." I told her. "We have to go hear what he is trying to tell us!".
As I approached the single lonely tree on the edge of the ridge, I could feel his request as clearly as a dump truck running me over. He told me he was lonely up here just before Christmas and really would like some company to sit with him to watch the setting sun. Well who am I to argue with a tree I thought. I pulled out my thermos of hot cocoa and made a bed on a tuft of bear grass sticking up through the snow. Josie curled up behind me, using me as her personal wind break. "Some Arctic Wolf you are" I grumbled under my breath.
Since it takes awhile for my adrenaline to sort itself out, I appreciated the time to sit with this lovely tree. I could feel the adrenaline still crashing through my veins like a powerful roar of a raging river. Sometimes I need the adrenaline rush to get me through a challenging section of trail. But for the night hike out tonight, I would not need it. So I wanted to sit and sip cocoa with Fir my new friend until it dissipated. We took many photos together as we talked about our lives.
The problem became that I never wanted to leave. The more comfortable I got laying on the ground with this view, and the more tired I grew with the hot cocoa filling my belly, the more I thought that this would be a nice place to die. Since I have been feeling like I cheated death with my recent accident, I couldn't help but think that this would be a much more pleasant way to go. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier. But before long I had a Wolf in my face apparently sensing my death wish. She needed to tell me that she had long since frozen solid and her eyeballs were nothing but ice, no longer able to even blink. I couldn't help it, she made me laugh and laugh until I was awake and ready to hike her down to the warm truck she was desperately wanting for the long drive home.
Since this is my last story from 2024 and the final story after five consecutive years of weekly hiking, I thought I would share something with you that I never have before. People often ask me why I only ever take photos of my girls and the landscape around me. They tell me that I should take selfies. I normally always say that I never take selfies. But that is not entirely true. I have taken just a few over the years and only for one very important reason. I will take one when I fear that I might be getting frostbite in my face. Since I don't have a mirror or hiking partner to tell me if I am in trouble, I will take a quick photo with my giant camera just to check the color of my skin. This hike was one such moment after seeing how frozen the Wolf had become. I took this while huddled on top of the windy peak. It must have been all those battery pack warming devices strapped to my body, because my face was not frozen at all!!! I tried to use that as a reason to convince Josie to stay out longer, but I finally gave in to her desperation. We are a team after all and it can't be all about what I want. But I never thought I would see the day come when I could out hike and out cold an Arctic Wolf on the trail! She is clearly going soft on me. If only I could convince her to drive the truck home now!
My New Year's 2025 wish for you is from Numbers Chapter 6, verses 24-26:
May the Lord bless you and keep you;
May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you;
May the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.”’
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