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  • amyjensen98

January 2024-b


My body and soul craved open sky country. I needed to feel that I was hiking where wild Palominos run and Buffalo roam. I needed to see vast expanses before my eyes. I needed to feel some sun on my face. The last two weeks we had been trapped in serial ice, wind and snow storms. We had lived through days with no power, phones or water. I had bathed in snow melt. So today felt like it should be a celebration of survival. Only it was pounding down a cold hard rain on top of all the snow encasing my home when I awoke. This was the forecast for the day, nothing but heavy rain. Although my body had no desire to go out into the cold and miserable downpour, my mind forced her to pack up and start driving east. I figured I could drive east until the rain stopped and then find a place to hike from there. East is open sky country and it was calling to me. The call was greater than myself.


We drove east past Stevenson, Carson, Hood River, Bingen and Lyle, but it was still raining. As we drove east past the Dalles though the precipitation finally appeared to slow to a sprinkle. A sprinkle I could handle today, so I pulled over and parked my truck along the highway where the snow had been plowed. I put on all my layers, but decided to leave my snowshoes in the truck and only wear spikes on my snow boots once again. That is surely my favorite way to winter hike! We were not on the trail long before we came upon a muddy waterfall. Josie was so happy to be back on the trail she couldn't contain her goofy face!



Within our first mile we were spotting huge deer herds moving between the ravines and ridge-lines. They were everywhere! Josie suddenly got real serious when she started to see them. She has bottomless dreams of running down and catching a deer I can tell you that. She knows, however, that this is not allowed with me, so did her best to remain still and survey their every movement from a distance instead. The largest herd we counted was thirteen strong. But there were many mini groups of just three to five deer. I don't think we saw a single male all day though, telling me hunting season was hard on these guys.



One of the things I was most excited about on this hike today was the rolling hills. This area is a huge open expanse of land that is all rolling and open rounded hills with creeks running between them. It is truly a magnificent land and a place Native Americans use to traverse regularly. It is impossible for me to climb up onto this land and look east and west along the Columbia River and not imagine what it must have been like for the Pioneers to come through here. The river would have been un-damned then and surely an incredible sight. By the time they had reached this location, the pioneers had probably traveled over 2000 miles already. How they must have longed for the journey to end in such a rugged land full of all their hopes and dreams.


Today I was going to make my own paths and just wander and meander aimlessly among the rolling hills. We could do anything we wanted. The freedom was overwhelming and I was overcome with peace knowing that nothing really mattered outside the moments stretching out before us today. This day was ours to make of it what we could. There was not a single human anywhere in sight. The apocalypse surely could have occurred and we would never know, except every now and then we would hear a far off lonesome train whistle coming from the direction of the Columbia River. There may not be a sadder or more soothing sound to me than a far away train whistle.


Before long, we had a creek to ford. It didn't seem too deep, so we just picked partially submerged stones to step our way across the approximate 15 foot expanse of muddy water. This was the very water that pushed its way down to make the waterfall we had passed earlier. Luckily the water never reached higher than my ankle high snow boots. The snow was also not super deep, only coming up to my ankles in most places today. I could tell that my feet were growing cold as they remained buried in snow with every step however.


As we climbed higher toward the rounded peaks we knew existed, we found that clouds and fog had moved in obliterating any view whatsoever. It was as if the sky and ground had become equals. Everything was white. As the prolific deer moved in and out of the fog, they appeared truly ghost like. It was beautiful in its own way. These were conditions though where I could not remove my sunglasses without experiencing snow blindness just from the bright whiteness all around us. We were in our own world. A world filled with the crunching sound of snow and ice beneath our boots and air so cold and fresh we couldn't help but to greedily suck in deep breaths.



We turned to our east and headed in a direction we had never gone before on this land. We slowly switched a lazy and wide path through grass and small bushes poking up through the snow. As we pushed across the north side of a hill, we found the snow suddenly deeper and softer. We started to post hole up to our knees making the climb more physically demanding than it had been before. I loved it. I felt as if I was back on my beloved mountain landscapes.


As we stopped to take a break and hydrate, we surveyed our surroundings. As I processed being utterly alone standing stuck between rolling hills, my mind was overcome with a variety of sentiments. We were stuck in deep, soft snow pulling at us. Stuck in this small cloud filled valley. It all mirrored how we were stuck in life. Stuck between the years of my youth and the years of old age coming. This is the year I will turn fifty years old. Am I still living or am I only awaiting death I questioned? What have I become I thought to myself as I felt like a star falling from the sky, burning up on entry. I felt as if my very heart has been corroded by rust while waiting on the passage of time. What are our lives really, but a blink of the eye? I could hear God's voice whispering into my soul that He has great plans for me yet. He was the one who sent me here today. He had something special planned for us, yet I knew not what that was; today or in the future He holds in the palm of His hand. I could only trust in His whispers and have faith in His promises. I shook myself from my reverie so we could continue to climb and move in a generally northeastern direction. Suddenly, blue sky was peeking out behind Nova as if to show us the promises coming. The fog was lifting as quickly as it had descended upon us.





The drizzle was stopping too as the clouds were pulling away. True beauty was revealing itself above us and it appeared as if the very sky was behind glass. At times I felt as if I was locked inside the picture frame under the viewing glass with it. In other moments I was on the outside looking in. The surface of the snow became icier as we continued our ascent, turning sharper eastward and then south. As we moved, the river popped into view coming from our west. I delighted in our exposure, even though I realized I could no longer feel my face. However, strangely, at the same time, the sun sneaking down to kiss me seemed to warm every part of my body.



The crunch of ice over snow was now deafening under our boots and paws. The sound somehow made me realize that I was famished. As usual, I had not eaten much today and it was as if my very essence was draining out of my body through my legs and into the snow beneath me. I quickly rummaged in my side pockets until I found some trail mix. I ate it quickly as we continued hiking toward our highest point of the day, immediately revived with each mouthful. In between the handfuls of nuts and m&ms going in my mouth, I fed the girls treats from their treat bag at my belt. Of course they were happy to pose for photos for those yummy treats.


Our final steps to that high point was truly the finest of approaches. The Columbia River laid itself out before us like a giant snake deep below in the gorge. A huge barge moved up river looking like a small toy from our vantage point. The sky was full of streaks of blue sandwiched between thick layers of pregnant clouds. The snow beneath us was pristine with not a mark on it other than what we were creating. The sun warmed our bodies while the winds remained gentle. The high rolling ridge to our north was completely revealed to us now, as if a curtain had been lifted for our own private show. We could suddenly see for miles in all directions. It was extraordinary really and a moment I will carry with me as long as I live. I wanted to suck every moment of it into my pores so that it became a part of me and I of it. How could I not surrender to His love as I lifted both arms heavenward and thanked God for this day and this moment in time. I'm not going to lie, I might have, once again, done my best Julie Andrew's spin.





You might ask how we handled this moment. What did we do with this gift God gave to us on this rainy and cold day? Well, Josie Lynne got to be first to hit our high point of the day and she immediately threw herself into making Wolf Snow Angels. Nova Leigh stopped and turned her face to the sun to soak in some vitamin D in a rare moment of true stillness, peace and tranquility. I laid down on top of the ice in my snow pants facing west to watch the sunset, getting my boots out of the snow for the first time all day. We each enjoyed the celebration in our own way and rejoiced in each other's company. You just can't get better trail companions than these girls! The blinding euphoria I experienced was surely testament to this. If only we were pioneers on a wagon train about to start our new lives in this land I thought.








As the sky darkened, we began our descent heading west a different way so as to make a giant loop hike. We found the top layer of ice would crack and shatter off the top of the snow with each step. This turned the ice into millions of gemstone sized diamonds scattering everywhere with each move we made. The sound was incredible and Josie kept wanting to chase and pounce on each ice gemstone that tried to run away from us. The conditions were truly surreal. As the pale light of dusk was spreading across the surface of the snow, I was repeatedly lured to stop and just immerse myself in the moment. I was bewitched by this place and I laid down in the snow over and over, linking my hands behind my head and leaning up on the backpack still on my back. As the sun was saying good night in front of us, the moon rose behind us. It was a huge full moon known as the Wolf Moon. The first full moon of every year is called this. "Josie" I said, "that moon is just for you!" I could feel the cold picking at us as the sun finally disappeared, but I did not care. Part of me just wanted to fall asleep right there on the cold hard ground with my arms behind my head and the snow behind my back. But Nova told me she needed a warm blankie and couldn't lay in snow. Oh, my dear Princess Nova.


As we looped back across the ridge where we first saw that large herd of deer earlier in the day, Josie was overcome with their tracks and prints. The Wolf moon must have gone straight into her Wolf soul as she was virtually beside herself. It was all I could do to hold onto her without being pulled off my feet. But my bigger issue came when it was time to cross the creek once more. The water level had raised since our last crossing due to melting snow in the sunshine that had come out. There was nothing for it, but to run across the expanse as quickly as possible and hope for the best. But about halfway across I became aware of the water level rising above the height of my tall boots. The frigid melt-water poured down inside, saturating both pairs of hiking socks and making my toes swim inside my own boots. My already cold feet were now going to turn into blocks of ice. "Well," I said to the girls, "at least we are only about a mile and a half from the truck." I knew no real damage would be done to my feet in that short distance, just some discomfort.


I have learned through all my hikes that my degree of comfort truly comes from my repeated familiarity of trail and weather conditions, my own body's responses and my capabilities. Sure, my feet were encased in hardened ice socks and boots that had become ice blocks while continuing to hike in ankle deep snow. But I had no fear as to the outcome. I would be just fine. That being said, just to be sure, when I arrived back to where I left my truck and was undressing, I pointed the flashlight to my feet to double check. This surely made the passing trucks wonder about my sanity as I was standing barefoot in the snow staring down at the ground. My feet were a bit red and my tiny toes showed the start of frostbite, but nothing that wouldn't improve shortly with the heaters in my truck. From experience, I knew that heating them back up would be the most uncomfortable part of their journey today. Right now I couldn't feel a thing.


What I can tell you is that this hike was 100% worth a little discomfort. I was so incredibly thankful that I forced myself to head out into that pouring rain this morning to make this day happen. When I think how I would have missed it all had I chosen to walk on my treadmill in my home gym all day, I was feeling very overcome myself. It didn't take a Wolf Moon to do that to me either. I realized that it doesn't matter if I am fifteen or fifty, as long as I make the best of each day God sets before me, then I am truly living. If I take the good with the bad and just keep moving forward in this journey, then I don't have to be weakened by rust or stuck anywhere.


The biggest question of all though, was did I ever find my wild Palominos and Buffalo? Well, sort of. I found wild deer instead of buffalo. Then I found just one little horse. Don't believe me? You already saw the photos of the deer. Well here is the adorable horse we found....please never doubt me again. Even the Wolf could hardly bear to look at this horse we found! Bet you didn't know Palominos wore camo.





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