After a rough week that tested my hope for humanity, I really needed my time alone with God in the woods! We had a lot to talk about and it turned out our walk in the woods today was also a walk in the clouds. It could not have been more perfect to cleanse my heart, mind and soul! The question that kept coming up though was whether I could ever hike enough to fix all the brokenness and bitterness that builds up inside me just through living life. This was a hard question to answer. But there is one thing I did know, and it was that only by being alone in the mountains and the forests could I even begin to fix the brokenness and bitterness. So I am drawn to these wild places like a moth to a flame. I truly believe it is the only thing that keeps me sane and grounded. The wild places where I am alone with God are the places where I can let go of the stress, the pressure and the anger that build each week. Then God can refill me with His peace, grace and security. I am reminded just how much He cares for and loves me during our hikes together. He surely is the one who strengthens me and gives me that mustard seed faith!
The hike I chose today was another section of the PCT in Washington that I had not yet done. It was one that would connect two sections I had completed previously, but had not been on these particular middle miles before. I had studied maps for a long time to discover a forest service road that would get me to the place I ended the PCT last. Forest Road number 68 was rather miserable I must say. It was too skinny to pass anyone should the need arise, deeply potholed, washed out in areas, had trees recently fallen across it (which luckily someone had cut just enough to pass a truck through), had boulders rolled down onto it that needed to be skirted along steep cliff edges, and was very, very muddy. By the time I reached the PCT crossing of the road and could leave my truck abandoned on the side, I was thrilled to be on foot and also impressed with all the mud coating my tires and running boards! Oh, the Xterra was one happy boy today!
We walked across the road and took a moment of silence to fondly look at the log where we had sat and eaten our supper in the rain a few weeks back. That was a 13 mile hike in a rain storm and we had ended at this log along the forest service road. So here, we would begin again. I am a purist when it comes to making sure my boots hit every inch of trail when section hiking. I will not skip any portion! In fact, because I hike solo, I am unable to leave a vehicle at either end of a section of trail. So that means every section of the PCT I hike, I do so twice. But I like this as we see different things as we travel in different directions.
The trail snaked up through the beautiful forest, but was encased in clouds. It was not raining, but we could feel the mist from the clouds coating our exposed skin. I was surprised by how dark it was due to the clouds. It was only 1pm in the afternoon and I was turning on the girl's safety nightlights already.
It was interesting to me how much my depth perception was affected while climbing in deep shrouded mists. Many might feel this was too creepy to want to meander around alone in, but I found it incredibly soothing. All sound seemed to have ceased in the clouds and it was as if time stood still. Since I couldn't see far, I had to just focus on the trail at my feet and close surroundings. The trail had the same wonderfully graded and wide switchbacks as the last section I had done, clearly showing this region was built by the same team. My sight distance may have been affected by the clouds, but the scents coming up from all around were more intense. The scents of pine and evergreen bows, the damp soils, the fallen leaves, all filled my senses with a freshness you can only find in a place such as this. It was intoxicating.
Pretty soon however, all three of us started to feel as if we were seeing movement around us. When we would stop to investigate, we realized that it was simply the deception of the thick mists. When we moved through the thickness, stationary objects would emerge from the mists and appear to be moving toward us. When we came upon a bunch of trunks that were snapped off to the height of a man, I could have sworn we were seeing a brigade of knights moving toward us through the shadows. My imagination told me they wore full metal breastplates, helmets and carried swords while moving toward us. Perhaps I have spent a little too much time reading books from the 1300's about knights! I laughed at myself as my knight trees finally showed themselves for what they truly were. No wonder they seemed so skinny as they approached!
As I stood to look at these broken trunks, I couldn't help but wonder about the power that could break all of them off at about the same level. There were other larger trees broken at about the same height in the area. That was one heck of a storm to do this I thought to myself! Perhaps they did not take enough time to find peace and serenity and this allowed them to be broken in half. It was a good reminder to take this time! The girls were getting a bit jumpy and kept stopping to peer through the veil of shadows, forcing me to turn and look with them each time.
One of the things I enjoy on the PCT is what I call the wisdom signs. So the PCT trail markers posted on trees, which guide you along the trail, will sometimes have messages hand written on them by other hikers. There were several messages today. One told me to focus on where my feet are. This seemed more philosophical in nature as the trail was well groomed and easy to navigate through this section. It made me think of one of my favorite verses in Psalm 119:105 saying that God's "word is a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path". Today we would need His light on our path as I knew things would really get dark on this trail after a couple more hours. Funny that the mists were also making us focus on our feet today. It was as if this hiker knew what we would be facing this very day. Here was another of the PCT wisdom markers that made me smile trailside.
As we hiked along, there were several locations where the trees parted and we knew there would be astounding views if not for the cloud cover. We used our imagination to see what we were missing.
We climbed higher and higher as the trail grew in elevation. Today's end point would be the highest point on this section about a half mile above Big Huckleberry Mountain where an old lookout tower use to stand. Previously, we had hiked in here from both the Grassy Knoll trail and south on the PCT to a campsight at this high point with great views of Mt. Adams. I could see it in my memory even though it had been a couple years now and looked forward to getting back to that location. I knew I would recognize it instantly even in the thick clouds.
As we climbed I was getting that strange feeling that is so hard for me to explain to you. It is as if the outermost layers of my body grow cold, but my insides are warm. I can literally feel my skin and subcutaneous tissues becoming cold and clammy while my organs feel wrapped in warmth. My blood starts to feel chilled. I actually can feel the separation of my body and it always makes me feel as if my skin and tissues have become my clothing. It is a super strange sensation to wrap my brain around, but also feels very natural at the same time. It is a very distinct feeling that once you have experienced it, you will never forget it. I knew this also meant my thermoregulation was not going well. So even though I was climbing quickly up a steep incline, I decided to pull out my thermometer from my side pouch and take my temperature while continuing to hike. There was not a soul on this trail today but us, so I didn't worry about embarrassing myself doing this. I was surprised to see that I was already down to 94 degrees while climbing uphill. "UGH", I said to the girls. "We are not going to be able to stop long for supper when we summit. We will have to keep moving!" I knew that the clouds had soaked us from the moisture trapped in the very air around us. Being wet was not helping us. When we did reach our destination and I dropped my pack to get our food out, Nova was instantly shivering despite her good puffer vest. I needed to get something hot in her quickly.
Luckily, I had a big thermos of hot potato soup to share with the girls along with some homemade Brioche bread. The soup was less than 200 calories in the entire thermos, so it was really more like potato broth, but either way it was hot. In fact it was so hot, I burned my mouth and esophogus on it making my eyes water; proof that I do have tear ducts I suppose. After letting it cool a bit, the girls gobbled down soup and bread with their food and then posed in front of the view of Mt. Adams as if they could sense his presence behind them through the thick clouds. The wind had picked up at this higher and more exposed elevation. We could watch the clouds swirling as they blowed over our heads.
Once it was time to leave, I knew it would mostly be downhill for the next 2000 feet of elevation loss and just over 5 miles to the truck. We moved fast to generate heat, but also continued to take time to just stop and enjoy the views surrounding us so we could fully submerse ourselves in the peace and solitude today. It was as if the forest was hugging us in the mists. This was perhaps my favorite view of the day. There is surely no better hug than this!
Josie wanted to tell me that she felt like she was falling through space and time in the murkiness as we descended.
When we were only about a half mile from our truck, we were startled by a view peaking at us through a gap in the trees. The clouds were clearly dropping and views were opening in the distance. Part of me wanted to run back up the trail to see the views now from higher up. But it was almost totally dark and I knew by the time we reached the view points, we wouldn't be able to see anything anyway. So we pushed forward down that final stretch to get back to the Xterra who was surely excited to make his way through the muddy narrow roads back to civilization. Sadly, I knew that getting back to civilization meant immersing myself back into the insanity of humans. I was going to need to hold on tight to the mists I immersed myself in today to not let go of my new found peace. My walk in the clouds was sadly over and like the knight trees demonstrated, I would need to be careful so I did not break in half in the coming week until our next hike.
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