This week's hike was about finding and enjoying crack, walking with yoda who is as wise as they say, and battling a wee bit of frostbite, but winning the temperature game. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I could only think about two things. First, since I was hosting the holiday event at my home and expecting company, I needed to be at home baking as soon as possible. So the ticking of the clock and crunch of time was the first thing on my mind. The second was that exactly one year ago today, I was hiking on a trail where I ended up looking down the barrel of two rifles as the hunters holding them dropped to their knees to put us in their sights getting ready to shoot. I remembered it like it was yesterday as my reaction was to hit the ground behind a large rock to hide from them and grab for my own gun. This was a strange instinct....as if I was more accustomed to being in a gun fight than using my own voice to speak to humans. But eventually, I did holler out to them that I was a human and to not shoot us. I did not want a repeat of that hike today, so I made sure to put the Wolf's orange scarf on her again today.
Even if I could make most of my Thanksgiving dishes tomorrow, since our company was not coming until 3pm, I needed to at least make the pumpkin pie today. I enjoy baking and cooking, but always do so from absolute scratch. This means it takes longer, but tastes so much better! It also meant that today, at least, I needed an easy hike not too far from home so I could be home at a decent hour. So I chose a favorite lookout tower as my destination for the day. All we needed to do was drive 2 hours each way and hike up to a peak at just a tic under 5000 feet of elevation. I knew all the trails very well in this area so would not even need to take a map with me. It should be fast, even though I knew we would be snow hiking this time of year.
As my Nissan rounded the final corners of forest service roads to the trailhead, we indeed started to see ice and snow along the gravel road. I had secretly been hoping we wouldn't run into snow until we were almost to the summit, but knew this would make the Arctic Wolf very happy. We geared up and hit the trail with no other vehicle or human in sight. As we climbed, I could feel the harsh chill in the air. It was bitterly cold today, despite all my layers. I focused on trying to not hike so fast that I would sweat into my base layers. I needed to stay dry when it was so cold outside.
Before long we were hiking trails lined thickly in beargrass. Everything was so still and silent. We could only hear the crunch under our boots and paws as we moved. The snow at first was wet and sloppy, but soon turned icy and hard on top. Today we would be passing several small lakes on our way to climb the final peak to the tower. They are always beautiful to me no matter what season we find them in, but I was surprised to see the lakes covered in ice already. Guess it was colder than I even thought it was. As we neared the first lake and needed to cross the outlet of water on the bottom side, Josie was thrilled to find the ice. She loves to walk out on it and listen for the cracking sound it will make under her 60 pounds of body weight plus pack. It is almost as if she senses the ice is alive and will pounce on it to get it to squeek and moan until it gives way. There is nothing like walking on water! Just like the disciple Peter, I was willing as well, at least for awhile.
The first lake could not hold my weight, but the second through fifth lakes could in some areas. They were almost impossible to stand on though due to how slippery they were. I only had my full crampons with me today and did not put them on afraid the long spikes would puncture the ice. Once again, I wished I had my micro spikes with me. I am clearly going to need to just pack both sets of spikes for the rest of this season. I was not intentionally walking out into the middle of the lakes, but every one of them had dramatically overflowed their banks and swallowed up the trail, so we did not have much of a choice. Nova gave me the look telling me she did not want to walk on water today. She is so wise and remembers what happens when it breaks. So I told her to stay behind me. If the ice holds my weight, it would surely hold hers too. We enjoyed the beauty of the ice as we passed along.
When we arrived at lake number 2, we lost the trail completely. The water had backfilled the trail to the point where I could no longer tell if the trail went to the right or left. But in that moment I was feeling very cocky thinking I remembered every inch of this trail and told the girls we needed to bushwack to the left. After bushwacking the entire way around the lake and finally finding the trail on the far right side, I ate a little humble pie. Not as good as pumpkin pie for sure. Apparently I had forgotten a few things about this trail system.
Once we arrived at lake number 3, we could see right away that this ice was even stronger. We were clearly gaining in elevation and the air was surely growing colder. A large tree had fallen onto the lake, but was being held up by the ice trapping it on the surface. The girls both wanted to walk out to the log to check it out and I was able to follow without falling through, although I did hear some cracking that made me catch the breath in my very lungs. Each time the ice beneath my boots would crack, but not give way, I got the giggles. But then on the far side of this lake, where the water was shallow, Josie the Wolf decided to do a little tough pouncing and was able to break through the ice to stand in the frigid water. She had a smile on her face the entire time the big goof ball. Her and I are well suited for one another on the trail.
Upon our arrival at lake number four, I was fighting some pretty bad memories. So this was the exact location of the first time I became so hypothermic on the trail that I was in deep trouble. It was a late Fall hike the time Nova and I were here last a couple of years ago now. It had started to rain on us almost as soon as we hit the trail soaking us through. But then that rain had turned into freezing rain, hail and then snow as we climbed higher. We were about 6 miles up the trail that day when I recognized I was having problems. I was beyond super cold and could feel my mental processing slowing like molasses in ice. Every brain cell felt frozen in place. I was wet through and through as it snowed heavily down on us. Luckily I called the hike early and we turned around to make the 6 miles back out. Things seemed okay until we were only about 2 miles from our truck at that time. That put us at this very lake we were now standing at. I had stopped here and told Nova I needed to pee so there would be less of me to warm up inside my body. But somehow that led to my taking off most of my clothing.
I don't remember much of why I did that, only that I was burning up and the ice pinging off my bare shoulders felt really good. That is when Nova looked up at me and saved my life. Her face told me everything I needed to know. Her eyes boring into mine told me to put my wet clothes back on and run as fast as we could to the truck. I looked down at myself and the only two braincells that I had left which were not frozen rubbed together long enough to know she was right. But when we tried to run, we found that our limbs were so frozen we could barely do it. I was limping terribly because my legs would not work and saw that Nova was actually doing the same. My left arm stuck out far to my side and I no longer had any control over any portion of it. I ambled down the trail more like Frankenstein would. It was the longest two miles of my life, gimping along. I honestly did not think we would make it. But when we finally made it to the truck, my next challenge was to get the keyfob out of my pocket and push a button with frozen digits. It was almost impossible. I think it took me an easy 10 to 15 minutes to accomplish this task while standing in hail beating down on us. I remember thinking that our dead frozen bodies would be found next to the truck, and I would most likely be naked.
That was the first hike where I gained a clear respect for hypothermia. I then became obsessed with it, needing to know all the signs, symptoms and body temperatures it takes to get there. There has only been one time since then when I found myself ripping my clothing off in snow, convinced I was burning up. But I recognized it quickly for what it was and stayed safe. I have since also learned that if I heat myself up too quickly after my temperature drops to a certain point, I will suffer extreme body aches and headaches like no other. So I now hike with a thermometer in winter to monitor these things. My goal now is to figure out at what temperature does my body flip from being cold to thinking I am on fire and have to take my clothes off or risk vomiting and passing out if I do not. I have not yet discovered this mark. I can tell you that I have made it down to 92 degrees and still only felt cold. So the temperature game continues.
I thought of all these memories as we stood at lake number four and just enjoyed the serenity and beauty of the place. Since Josie was not with us those years back, she was not joining Nova and I in our walk down memory lane and was more intent on pouncing all around to see if she could find more cracking. Nova was very somber here, so I am sure she was remembering that we almost died in this very spot. We shared a secret smile and continued onward.
When we arrived at lake number five, I realized the trail was suppose to be going right down through the center of it. We moved off to the side to do a lot more bushwacking to get around as I felt that we would either fall through this one, or Josie would pull me flat on my back which would surely crack the ice and I would sink backpack first into the lake. I could not be fully immersed this far from the truck and this late in the day. That would be game over for sure.
Once we got around the lake, we only had to hike a short distance to find the connector trail for the final peak to climb to the lookout tower. We were so close I could taste it! But that final climb is a bit of a brutal push straight up without luxuries like a switchback. If we had not been within a mile of the tower, I would have had to have put my spikes over my boots to make it. But I didn't want to take the time when we were so close, so just fought the steep trail, kicking steps into the ice and snow with my boots the entire way up. The surface of the snow seemed to grow thicker in ice as we climbed. But then I saw something that made me laugh out loud. Bird tracks. We were following a trail of bird tracks. I called them turkey tracks, since it seemed appropriate the day before Thanksgiving. But in reality I think they were just our mountain chicken friends....the pheasant. Josie was so happy to be following the tracks that she threw herself into making wolf angels.
As we continued climbing and following the mountain chicken tracks upward, a thought planted itself inside my mind with great force. I immediately recognized it as that still small voice; the voice of the Holy Spirit within me. I know to always listen to this voice. He told me that I should not go out the same way I came in. "WHAT?" I questioned with surprise. He then put in my mind another path we could take to get back to the truck. I had never thought to make this hike a loop before and the idea shocked me. But then I realized that it would soon be dark and descending down the icy peak and navigating all the frozen lakes would be difficult in the black of night. The other path now in my mind might be longer, but it would be easier and much safer. I responded that I would think about it, knowing that I would most likely do it as I said so. I just needed to get use to the idea first.
With a final hard and determined push, we gained the tower! Just as soon as we did so, I realized the wind was going to try its best to tear us to shreds from the top of this peak. The wind didn't only blast through all five layers that I was wearing, but it blew right through my very bones, blood and flesh. It was bitter and painful in every cell of our bodies. I quickly pulled out Nova's new snood. Her ears are so delicate that they can quickly experience frostbite. So I knew my first priority was to cover her head. I had a new Yoda snood with us today and it would be her first time to wear it. The Wolf took one long look at her sister and then burst out laughing. If I am being honest, I did too.
Between our bouts of laughter, I assured Nova that she was beautiful and wise, just like Yoda himself. "What was it that Yoda said?" I asked her. "A Jedi's strength flows from the force. Nova your force is your snood. From there you gain warmth and strength today. Don't mind our laughter! We love you and are only jealous!"
Since this Lookout Tower is not super tall, I was able to convince the Wolf to climb up to the catwalk to eat our supper. It was so cold, we ate very quickly though. Unfortunately, I did discover a malfunction. Somehow my thermos had a failure. While the soup I brought had been boiling hot and should be burning my mouth, it was barely tepid when I opened the thermos. I groaned inwardly as I knew putting something hot inside our bodies was vital to maintain our temperatures before hiking out. It must be colder out than I was even realizing. But I focused on the beautiful views surrounding us just before sunset instead of worrying about that which I could not control.
We could not stay long even though I so desperately wished we could. I was losing all feeling in my body and without that hot soup and nothing but a descent ahead of us, I had no way to control my temp. I already had all of my clothing on, even my emergency layers. Bitter just does not do justice to how cold this peak was. In fact, just before eating my tepid soup, I had checked my temperature. I was right at 93 degrees. I calculated that if I listened to God and hiked out that different way from how I hiked in, it would still most likely be between 6-7 miles of hiking in snow and possibly ice. No one was on the trails today but us, so we would see this through alone like always. But I grew a bit concerned when I looked at my hands.
Frostbite always hits my hands first and always in my fingers. It will then quickly spread from my fingers up the palm of my hands to my wrists and arms. My legs do the same starting with my toes and feet. Just so you can share fully in this moment with me, I will show you what this looks like in the early stages before I turn shades of purple and blue. It starts pink, then turns red. I apologize that my fingers were too frozen at this point to control the focus on my camera, so it auto-focused on the steps to the tower and not my hand. But you will get the point regardless. Pretty cool huh?? Okay, the base of my thumb was turning a bit purple.....
I laughed nervously and told the girls we needed to take a few last photos very quickly so we could head out. Sunset was turning beautiful and it was a sight to behold....like fire in the sky. The gold, pink and orange glow to our west was surely much more beautiful than my reddening hands. To live every day seeing gold in the sky is a life well lived I say. But by the time our final photo shoot was done, I was starting to scream outwardly at the pain in my body. It was not a loud scream, but I was certainly vocalizing the pain uncontrollably. As we moved off the peak and I really recognized the trouble I was in, that same still small voice spoke again. This time He told me to go to the shelter just beneath the tower. I argued back....."it will be locked up tight like it always is and just like the tower!" Believe me, I had just checked the tower door under it's winter shutter and it was padlocked tight. There was no getting in. But He repeated that I needed to go into the shelter. "Fine!" I stated behind tight lips to humor Him and took the time to go check the shelter door. It was open. It has never been open since I have been coming here! We all poured through the door almost falling on top of one another to get inside.
It was dark inside, but the walls were made of wooden planks covered in peeling paint and there was even a wooden floor in half the building. It instantly felt forty degrees warmer just being away from the wind, although I knew it most likely wasn't that much warmer. We all huddled in a corner and I truly realized just how cold I was. My teeth were audibly chattering now that I was inside the shelter. I looked down and my legs were shaking so badly that my knees were literally knocking together uncontrollably. There was nothing I could do, my entire body was shaking violently. How could I even walk when I couldn't stop shaking I wondered. So I sat down on the wooden floor in the corner and pulled my knees up to my chest wrapping my arms around them in a vertical fetal position. The girls huddled with me. Then I remembered I had one of my emergency pocket warmers in my pack. I turned it on and held it in my hands. It burned as if it was a hot coal and became even more painful to my hands if that was possible. I cried out and moaned angrily from the pain, but knew pain was still a good sign. It was when the pain stopped that I would need to really worry. After a few minutes I realized the pain had reduced and I looked down thinking it was surely too soon for the warmer to have thawed out my hands. But the warmer had simply died. I turned it back on and it died again. Apparently my frozen hands killed the pocket warmer! I use these warmers whenever I backpack and they last a good ten hours in my sleeping bag. It was fully charged, so there just was no good explanation for it dying now.
"Okay, okay God," I whispered outloud. "We will surely go the way you suggest to get out. We cannot risk falling through ice and getting wet." I also knew I could not bear to walk past lake number four where we almost died of hypothermia previously....not in our current condition at any rate.
I did not feel that this was the moment when God wanted to bring me home to meet Him face to face. If it was, He surely would not have told me the path He wanted me to take to return to my truck. So I was confident we were going to be fine. I was just going to go through a bit of misery first. No pain, no gain. I did secretly wish I had my sleeping bag with me however. If I had, I would have crawled in and spent the night in the shelter and given up on Thanksgiving altogether. But that was not an option. So we had to leave. It was growing late and that pie was not making itself.
Before leaving the shed, I checked my temperature once more, while barely able to hold the thermometer in my mouth. I was already down to 92.6 degrees and it had only been about 20 minutes since I last checked it. If I was dropping almost a half a degree for every half hour, I was in deep trouble. We would have to run whenever we could when trail conditions allowed. It would be hard in my big clunky snow boots, but run we did.
The miles flashed past faster than I even expected. It was 100% the right way to go. The going was much easier so we could indeed run to keep our temperature up, which never would have been an option the way we came in. The snow dropped away a lot sooner than it did from the route in as well. There was no water or ice to contend with at all. There was luckily also no bushwacking needed. This section dropped us quickly below tree line which protected us from the fierce winds. The final mile to the truck was also uphill, allowing us another good opportunity to warm up. I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had we gone out the way we came in. But I focused on just being thankful that I had listened to the still small voice once again! Oh the faith the size of a mustard seed!
When I got to the truck and had the girls stripped of their gear and warming up in the back seat, I took my temperature once more as I changed out of my boots. I no longer felt very cold after the run out, but also did not feel very warm. Therefore I stood there shocked as I held the thermometer into the flashlight beam to read the result. I was down to 91.8 degrees, a new personal recorded record! I instantly felt that confetti should fall from the sky and fireworks should explode behind me to commemorate the moment. But that might have been the hypothermia controlling my brain. From my research I knew that a body temperature under 95 degrees is considered a medical emergency and can be fatal if not treated quickly. I also knew that a temperature of 92 degrees or under is much more critical. Here I stood really feeling pretty dandy at 91.8 degrees. But all I could think about in that moment was what temperature I had to get down to in order to feel hot enough to get naked. I guess that mystery will continue on for another day. From this experience though, I now calculated that it must be lower than 90 degrees. I am still determined to discover the answer to this question, but am starting to wonder if my body is getting use to constant weekly hypothermia and maybe I am pushing that number lower each week as I become immune to subnormal temperatures. Challenge accepted.
After a 2 hour drive out in a warm truck, I discovered my face very flushed upon entering my home. Just to be thorough, I checked my temperature once more and it was only at 93.5 degrees, despite all the warming. Clearly I would be baking the pumpkin pie this year (until midnight) in a true hypothermic state. Not something I would be sharing with my guests. That would be my own little secret. I did not even tell my husband, letting him think my flushed face was my being nice and warm upon my arrival home. I smiled when it was time to eat the pie on Thanksgiving having all new reasons to be grateful this year.
What I did know without a shadow of doubt was that despite being terribly painful and miserable on a portion of this pre-Thanksgiving hike, and once again risking losing digits to frostbite, the photos I took at sunset of my beloved tower and girls were absolutely priceless and worth every second of the pain. As Yoda once said, "Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try." I am proud to say that we did not try. We did.
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