Well, we broke some personal records on this hike, but we hadn't intended to. The hike was 18 1/2 miles, which is not our longest by any means, but 8 1/2 miles of that was in pitch blackness and in snow. That was the record for us. Up until now, our longest number of miles after dark was 7...and that was not in snow! Snow hiking is so much harder to stay on trail since most anything in the snow looks like it could be trail. Snow hiking at night really takes that up a notch. Normally I only allow myself to fully night hike (without flashlights on) on trails I already know, so I don't walk off a cliff or something stupid. I had done most of this trail before, but it was one time three years ago as a summer backpack. My memory was sketchy at best on this. I found my memory of distances was wrong as well as my memory of large flat areas that were, in reality, quite steep climbs in the snow. Of course, I am still not really sure I was on trail the entire time anyway.
Besides turning into our longest number of miles in the dark and the longest number of dark snow miles, it was also the longest number of miles hiked with feet that were frozen into solid blocks of ice. But that was from my own stupidity and stubbornness so I have no one else to blame. I can, however, blame the wolf for getting us into a rather dicey situation on the way out. Never let a wolf pick your trail is the lesson I suppose. But let me start at the beginning of this day where any good story should start.
It was a wickedly stormy day. The kind of day where the light is swallowed by the darkness and rain hammers to the ground making you feel the power of God. I could swear I heard far off thunder when I first awoke in my bed. "Great" I thought. While packing up all I wanted to do was crawl under a blanket with a good book by the fire and watch the storm from the warmth and comfort of my cozy log cabin. But I have gone hiking every single week without fail for over 3 years now. I would surely regret missing a week. So I decided to bribe myself to go out into the nasty and cold storm. The bartering voice said I would be allowed to eat my favorite low calorie organic popcorn with coconut oil and Himalayan sea salts for breakfast if I would go. "Deal!" I instantly exclaimed back. That stuff is only 40 calories a cup, but is delicious and I am addicted. Eating it for breakfast just felt so naughty that it was worth the sacrifice.
The long drive to the trailhead was terrible. Rain pounded the truck and at times I could hardly see the road. The sky just seemed to get darker and darker. The place we were heading to today was up into the Goat Rocks and these are very popular trails when the weather is good. Today was the perfect day to have it all to ourselves. As we neared the trailhead, I saw four trucks with hunters, but there were no other hikers. I was glad that I had the orange scarves for the girls today. I also tied one to the back of my backpack for a change. I was thankful I brought something new as well. I had attached small rechargeable colored nightlights to each of the girls harnesses, one blue and the other green. When it gets dark, I can turn them on so we can hike without a flashlight and not worry about a hunter shooting us in the dark. I also had two spare night lights in my side pouch...a red one and a purple one just in case.
I feel it time that I share something with you. You will probably think me crazy, but if you have been following this blog for very long, you already know that to be true. So one of the gifts God has given me is a gift of premonition. I have had these since I was a child and have learned to trust them. Even my husband will ask me "Is this one of THOSE feelings?" Then he always follows it if so. These premonitions are rarely wrong. They sometimes cause incredibly sleepless nights and a lot of distraction. But they are a gift as they have saved me time and time again. I think the premonitions are part of why I am so comfortable in the forests and mountains without any GPS or Sat devices. I go by my instincts and feelings.
The last two weeks I have been having very strong premonitions that at least one of us was going to be killed. This was a very specific feeling that we would be shot by a hunter at night. It was the reason that on last week's night hike I turned on a flashlight when we reached the meadow. I have done lots of night hiking the last few years during hunting season and never had these strong feelings. I kept feeling that this was it though. The premonitions consume me until I do something about them. So the little night lights that I attached to each of us was my fix to the issue and luckily it took away the obsessive worry. Hunters would not shoot at something glowing blue in the night I figured.
We geared up in the rain and hit the muddy trail ready to move fast. Our goal today was to hike up to the PCT, turn south and head to a place I had always wanted to see. The Cispus basin and Cispus Pass lay to the south of Snowgrass Flats and the Knife's Edge. I had read there is a waterfall coming down across the trail in Cispus basin that you can walk right under. I needed to find those falls today.....snow or no snow. As we climbed up the trail, we enjoyed the fall colors still making the ground look like it was on fire.
It wasn't long before snow started to cover the ground, but we continued our ascent. We decided to take a right at a trail junction to head toward the PCT instead of going straight. Both were to take us to the Pacific Crest Trail, but right meant we would be closer to Cispus pass. The challenge was this meant we would have a river to cross. I hoped that the waters would be running low. Sadly they were not. All the rain we had had this week meant it was quite full. There was a log spanning the depths, but it was covered in snow. "Well, this should be fun." I said to the girls. "Josie, you lead the way across." We climbed down to the snowy log and started to make our way across. At that moment I wished I had attached my crampons to my boots. The spikes would have had me easily sticking to the slippery log. Just then, Josie paused in her crossing, which meant I lost momentum and started to wobble. I was so sure I was going in. I was fighting the wobble, back and forth through my abdomen, when Josie started to move again and gave me the leverage to keep going and regain my balance. I braced for Nova to fall into the water and her weight to pull against me as I could feel her wobbling behind me the same that I was. But she caught herself as well and we all made it across. "Ugh." I thought. "I do not want to cross that guy again!"
The snow was getting deeper and the sky was growing darker as we continued our ascent. Before long, we T-boned the PCT and turned to our right. That is when we found the infamous wall along this section. Someone had built a wall out of the many stones here. If only the trail was this easy to follow in the snow all along here! Surely this is my favorite section of trail of the day!
We paused so I could ask the girls some questions and get a drink. I realized we had not been drinking during the entire climb. One of the problems for me when it is cold and wet is that I don't drink. However my entire base layer was already soaked in sweat from the climb here, so I knew I was getting dehydrated. As we drank and ate snow, I asked the girls if they were having a good time. Josie was in the affirmative on this, but Nova, not so much.
"Sorry Nova" I laughed. We have to remember all our sunshine hiking and that we promised the wolf she would get her turn soon. I just hadn't planned on October for this! We started to grow cold from stopping and knew we needed to keep moving. My boots were pretty wet from slogging through the snow and I was wishing I had worn snow boots and gaiters today. It had been raining on and off the whole way up to this elevation, but now the dark clouds just moved inward and surrounded us, warning something else was coming. My raincoat and pants were soaked on the outside, but luckily my mid-layers were staying dry. As we maneuvered along the ridge-lines, we suddenly caught our first views of the Pass and it was beautiful despite the clouds! Josie was surely in love wanting to just lay down and stare at the views before us.
For the first time today, I decided to check my pedometer for the time. It was about 6pm and my stomach agreed. I could hear it growling over the sound of the snow crunching beneath my boots. I realized my 120 calories of Popcorn were not doing me any favors and I needed to eat something else today. But we had to reach the waterfall before dark. So we continued forward inside Cispus Basin where the trail cut along into the side of the steep cliffs. Usually these sorts of trails are great in the summer time, but you are not suppose to do them in ice and snow. Once you slip and lose control, you will slide to the bottom very quickly hitting any obstacles along the way. The thought came to me once again that I should strap on my spikes, but I didn't want to take the time. I was on a mission. So I said out-loud "Look no spikes!" as we moved forward across the snowy embankment in our quest. Josie was more than happy to lead the way.
There were no tracks in the virgin snow here, so we made our own. Funny that it seemed even the deer and elk we had seen so much evidence of before were avoiding this pass. Before long, I heard the tell tale sign of water and my heart leapt in my chest! "We're almost there girls!" I said to my hiking partners. We moved through a stand of trees and got our first views of the rushing water. It was gorgeous and took my breath away.
I quickly realized that to really experience this waterfall, to be close enough to feel the spray and be in the middle from the upper flows to the lower flows, I would need to get into the water. There was just not a better way. So I stepped into the cold water in my boots figuring they couldn't get much wetter than they already were anyway. We took several minutes to take photos and appreciate the moment. I wanted to absorb it through my very pores, which it seemed that I was.
Josie was enjoying feeling the spray on her face and could clearly stay here all day. Nova was not particularly enjoying our cold bath. So I told the girls it was time to go. We needed to find some shelter under a tree that was hopefully snow free so we could stand and eat.
On the way back across the pass, Josie kept insisting there was something up on the top of the ridges. She would stop over and over and stare up above us. I never could see or hear anything, but figured there must have been a deer or coyote or something watching us. Her senses are never wrong with this sort of thing. Of course, she also wanted to stall leaving. She knows what it means when we turn around and start to head back the way we have come!
We finally found a small space of wet bare ground under a tree where we could eat without our feet being encased in cold snow. I was already regretting standing in the icy water plummeting off the falls. Both pairs of socks were soaked through, but the squishing sound had stopped when they froze solid by being immersed in snow. My feet were turning into literal blocks of ice. The only good thing about that was that I knew the pain would soon stop once I could no longer feel them. But it was going to be real hard to cross that snowy log across the river again if I couldn't feel my feet. Instead of worrying about that, I focused on eating my hot soup from my thermos along with the small bag of chips I brought as my first treat. My second treat I would eat as we walked. It had once been a chocolate chip cookie, but it was now a Ziploc bag of cookie crumbs I would have to pour into my mouth. The girls enjoyed hot soup over their bowls of kibble as well. I pulled on my thick puffer vest that I had been packing in my kit. It was luckily still mostly dry and I pulled it over my raincoat and zipped it up quickly, sighing with the instant warmth. As I looked out across the cloud filled basin, I knew I would need to come back here in the summer. What a magical place for sure!
After eating, we needed to cover ground quickly. So we hiked hard and fast. It was getting dark quickly and we had a decision to make. As we moved northbound on the PCT, we were going to have two options. Drop back west on that side trail we took in. This would be the easiest option as we had already hiked it leaving boot prints to follow. Following boot prints in the dark would be easy. We knew what to expect, even though it would mean doing the river crossing in the dark. Our other option was to continue north on the PCT and look for the next connector trail that would connect back to our incoming trail at a lower elevation and ultimately to our truck. Darkness was invading us so quickly that I decided we needed to play it safe and go on the path where we could not get lost in the dark and the snow. But as we neared the connection, Josie, who was in the lead, walked right past it with great purpose. I knew she knew that was the way we came in. But she didn't even glance at that trail. She wanted to keep going on the PCT. I didn't even pause and just followed. I figured that we are all hiking partners and we all should have choice in where we go. Tonight it was the wolf's choice. Secretly I think I didn't really want to play it safe and this gave me a great excuse to go on an adventure.
We hiked harder and faster now knowing we were going to be heading into Snowgrass Flats. I loved this area three years ago, but hardly recognized any of it as it was so covered in snow and darkness. I decided it was time to switch on our nightlights as it was too dark to appreciate our orange scarves. Almost as soon as they were turned on, we heard a long off gunshot to our west. That is the direction of the trailheads I realized! My first thought was that I hoped they had missed, but my second was thank God for our lights! These hunters I had seen were clearly hunting after dark and near the trailhead. Lovely.
These were the last photos I took before it was fully dark and before we moved into survival mode. The lights were rather enchanting in the snow, I must admit.
Shortly after this, the snow got deeper and the climbing got harder. I was struggling to decipher where the trail was, and I realized I would have to pull out my flashlight. When trying to find trail in snow, I have learned to look for the slightest concave appearance across the surface of the snow. This is normally the trail. But it can also be a creek bed or game trail beneath the surface. So you can't always bank on this technique working. If you get drifting snow in wind, it won't work at all. As soon as I turned on my flashlight, I saw snow falling in its beam. I hadn't realized it was snowing with my hat and 3 hoods on, but it was coming down hard. "Great" I thought. We came to what seemed like a junction. The trail appeared to be going both to our left and our right, but there was no trail sign like I remembered and it was not the right direction for the junction we needed. Although these trails parted, they essentially were both still going north.
Josie turned left and Nova and I followed her for a moment, but then my instinct kicked in and I told her to stop. We had to go right, even though that was much steeper and felt like a creek bed to me. We back tracked and started to climb harder. The snow was growing deeper and we were sinking with each step, zapping our energy. I could feel my calves screaming as they had not been use to snow hiking for some time. "One more ridge guys" I said quietly. I wanted to just climb to the top of this ridge section. If we did not find our junction west soon, we would turn around and go back to where we came in. I knew if we turned around soon, we could still follow our boot prints out, but if we waited too long, this falling snow would fill those in and we would be screwed. As we crested that ridge, I was pretty sure I could make out trail in the faint glow of my light. "Wait, just a little further." I said again.
So it went, ridge after ridge after ridge. I hate turning around, so kept making one more deal after another. Just a little bit further I would say over and over. My mind was reeling though. I did not remember this section being so long and surely not so steep from when I did it that summer 3 years ago. Very little was familiar now. Could we be off trail I asked myself? Were we even close? Would we miss the small trail sign along here and end up on the Knife's Edge? Was the snow coming down harder now? Were we in a creek bed after all? I don't have my overnight gear, what if we have to spend the night up here under a tree? Will we freeze to death? What if we just go rogue and turn left now? The questions filled my mind, coming one on top of the other. I felt that I was hitting a wall. My body and muscles were screaming. But I 100% knew this was not a physical issue, this was a mental issue. I was getting exhausted and panicked in my mind only. I had to push through this. I had to think. We could do this. We would do this. If only I could focus my mind.
The snow swirled down upon us as I screamed into the sky "How hard can it be to find a damn trail connection in the snow in the dark!!!??" As soon as this question came out of my mouth, the sarcastic voice in my head of course had to answer in a very smug tone. "Well if you knew you were actually on the trail and not in a creek bed and had a real flashlight, it would help." He was right of course. I only carry stupid flashlights with me. This is because I usually never use them, and don't want the weight. I carry 4-5 very small lights. They are so small they run off a single AAA battery only. So they barely put out any light at all. I can only see about 2-3 feet in front of me. My caving friend would be so appalled with me I thought. A bright light would surely have helped me find and stay on the trail! But then I thought I saw something way up the ridge we were currently climbing. It was just a silhouette up the super steep ridge. We were climbing over boulders covered in snow at the moment and felt that this surely was not a trail. But up ahead, I thought I could see either a post and sign or a small alpine tree. "Oh please" I said out-loud and pushed to climb faster. I told the girls, this was really it, if that was not the sign, we were absolutely turning around. I meant it too.
I had to get to within two feet of the mysterious silhouette to actually see what it was. I leaned forward with my dim flashlight squinting my eyes in the swirling snow to see the object. It was indeed a leaning old wooden post with sign marking the connection I had been looking for! I hugged that post before I even knew what I was doing. I was a new woman! I was filled with a second wind and we were flying down the trail here. We didn't miss a single switchback and were staying on track like we had wheels on rails. In fact we were flying so fast, that a single thought came to me. "If you fall and break something up here in the dark and in the snow, it will be game over. No one will find you for days or worse." But I didn't have time to slow down. Just as the thought crossed my mind, the snow conditions changed from powder to slush and I could feel myself losing control. I was falling hard. Josie was still virtually running, so her momentum was pulling me forward in a very awkward and hard fall. I went down on my left side, with most of my weight landing on my bad left knee. My entire spine was jarred within me as I could feel the pain shoot from my knee to my hips and up to my shoulders. At least my knee brace absorbed some of the impact I thought as I pulled my face out of the cold snow and stood to my shaking feet. My backpack dropped from my neck back into place as I stood. It only took me a few seconds to make the assessment that nothing was broken and I could continue at a slower pace. It was a close call.
As we made our slightly slower descent, we did take a couple more mis-turns at places that looked to be trail junctions but weren't. Luckily my instincts caught on before we had gone very far in each of these misplaced explorations. When we got to the lower bridge that I knew marked our 2 mile mark, I was thrilled to be so close to our truck. I was tired and looking forward to the thermos of hot cocoa awaiting me! But at this point, the pain in my body from the fall was starting to catch up to me. So many body parts were screaming that I felt like I had been hit by a train. However I was only hit by a trail I told myself. To keep my mind off the pain, I played number games to guess how many miles we had hiked and what time it would be when we got back to the truck. The last time I checked my pedometer it was 6pm up on Cispus Pass. I couldn't wait to see the numbers when I got to the truck.
When we were about 1 mile or less from the trailhead, we heard it. Another gunshot and close by. All three of us jumped and stopped moving. We stared hard down the embankment toward the shot but could see nothing but blackness outside our circle of blue, green and white light. Thank God for my premonition and our ligths I thought! This could easily have been it. When we arrived at the trailhead, sure enough, one of the hunter's trucks was there parked right by ours. There were just the two trucks in the dark and no other sight nor sound. It felt creepy immediately. Almost like I was being watched. I got the girls quickly changed from their wet gear and safely in the truck. I then quickly stripped myself to put on dry clothes while praying I wouldn't see a hunter dragging a bloody carcass from the woods while hopping around naked on one foot trying to get my fleece lined leggings off. Wet clothes are always hard to get off cold clammy skin!! But I think this session of stripping down made new time records for me! I wanted out of there!
As my final record for the day, as I was peeling out of the dirt parking area and looked down at my truck's clock, I realized that this was surely the latest I had ever returned to my truck after a day hike. It was almost 10pm! Well that meant it would be almost 2am before I made it home. But with any luck my husband would be sound asleep and never have a clue what I was up to. What happens in the mountains stays in the mountains I always say. I rubbed my bruised knee, turned on my supplemental seat heater, opened my thermos and cranked the country music on the CD. I was going to enjoy this drive home and the heat from my old truck! While driving and singing along to the music, I spent a great deal of time thanking God for my recent premonitions. I think I cheated death this time at least! Although I am ready to go whenever God is ready to call me home. He will just have to tell me when he wants us to hike without lights once again at night during hunting season I suppose.
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